Carseat Safety

We are starting off the new year thinking about safety.  We welcome guest author, Mohammad Bhorat, as he shares some great tips on safely installing a car seat.

Five Point Checklist to Ensure Proper Car Seat Installation

By Mohammad Bhorat

When selecting a car seat for your baby, keep in mind that you can purchase the most expensive car seat on the market but that will not ensure your baby’s safety. What will make your baby safe is the proper installation of the car seat. Statistics show that half of the children who die in car accidents are securely strapped in but the car seat itself was
loose or placed at the wrong angle.

Here is a five point checklist to ensure proper car seat installation thereby making the car seat secure and safe:

1 – Check for a Loose Car Seat

Shake the car seat base near its belt path to see if it is secure. Follow the one inch rule for tightening. If the car seat gives more than an inch in any direction then you need to tighten it. The seat should also not slide forwards or backwards. To tighten the car seat, use your full body weight to push the car seat down into the vehicle seat cushion while you tighten the belt.

2 – Check for a Correct Belt Path

Since every model of baby car seat is different, you should take care to read the instruction manual that came with the seat to make sure the belt securing the seat is threaded through the right path. This can be confusing as some car seats can have
multiple paths. Do not just guess where the straps should be threaded through. Check the instruction manual to avoid making this common error.

3- Check Whether You Should be Using a U.A.S. (Universal Anchorage System) or
Vehicle Seat Belt for Installation

The Universal Anchorage System is on all vehicles manufactured on or after September 1, 2002. Vehicles manufactured prior to this date may not have anchorage points and therefore all car seats must have an installation method using the vehicle’s seat belt. If you have a U.A.S. system you can fasten the seat belt behind the car seat especially if it is a loose belt system as found in older model cars. You can leave the seat belt unbuckled if it is automatically retracted back into the seat. Use the vehicle seat belt for installation if it is the prescribed method of use in the vehicle and car seat manual.  You should use one method or the other but not both methods at the same time. Often parents are misled into a false sense of tightness by using both methods at once. The seat belt and U.A.S. installations are tested for the same impact on each and every car seat ensuring that they are equally safe. The usage of both methods at once has not been tested and could cause too much torque on the car seat causing it to fail in a crash. Basically, by using the correct method that was intended will make your car seat safe and secure.

4 – Check if the Car Seat is Reclined Correctly

Rear facing infants should be reclined at a 45 degree angle. Most modern models have a built in level so the level can be easily checked. Keep in mind that it is possible for a car seat to shift overtime so be sure to check the level often. Children that are not reclined correctly are not only uncomfortable but they are at increased danger in a collision or a sudden stop.

5 – Check if the Tether is Attached

If your child is in a forward facing seat then make sure that you have the tether attached. The purpose of a tether is to limit the critical head movement during a sudden stop or collision. The tether strap is located on the back of the child seat andis designed to anchor the car seat to the vehicle. Do not confuse the tether with the Universal Anchorage System and make sure to always attach it to the allocated location according to your vehicles manual.

Your child deserves the best protection. Please take a few minutes to double check your car seat using this checklist before your next ride. Just a few moments of vigilance to make sure everything is in order could save your child’s life.

Mohammad is the owner and operator of Baby Car Seat Installers located in Markham, Ontario. He is
a certified Car Seat Installation Technician through St John’s Ambulance. Mohammad offers free car
seat inspections. Contact by phone at 1 416 882 4248 or email: Info@carseatinstallers.com

www.carseatinstallers.com

Separated from the Kids – Staying in Touch

The holidays are special times for most families.  But there are families who are separated for one reason or another.  One of the biggest problems for separated fathers is feeling a loss of connection with their children. Here are some ideas for maintaining your connection when you can’t be with them for the holidays.

• Phone your child to say good night.  Be sure to get their wish list.
• Write your child a little letter and tell her what you did that day. Fathers with older children may be able to keep in touch by e-mail.  Send your child a Christmas card every day for 12 days.
• Attend holiday school performances. Get involved with your child’s school. Get to know his teachers and the principal. Attend school functions.
• Make an audiotape of yourself reading her favourite Christmas or holiday story.
• Collect interesting items for your children when you are apart from them. You can say, “I was thinking about you when I saw this.” Younger children might enjoy a pretty rock or wildflower. For older children it might be a funny comic cut out of the newspaper.
• If possible, move to a home in your child’s neighbourhood. This will be more convenient for you and it will be especially helpful when your children are older and their friends and activities become very important to them.
• Offer to give your ex-partner some free time by taking your child Christmas shopping.

Making every effort to be available to your child will create memories that last for all of you.

Merry Christmas.

Download a booklet for separated and divorced dads here.

Dads in Blended Families Take it “One Step At a Time”

Any father might wonder at times what role he should play in his family.  Fathers in blended families probably have even more questions because they often have  more than one family to influence.  Here are some thoughts for step-dads:

Children need to adjust to their parents’ new relationships.  Here are some things you can do to help them:

• Give them time.  New relationships always take time.
• Ensure good relationships with original parents.  Children need positive contact with their moms and dads.
• Let them know you understand that it’s hard for them.  Empathy is important.
• Protect them from conflict and other adult problems.  This is not their responsibility.
• Support their new relationships.
• Give them as much stability as they can get.

Keys to relationships with stepchildren:

• Let them come to you, on their terms, and in their time.
• Create opportunities to spend quality time with them.
• Doing activities together can make it a little easier, like taking walks or bowling.
• Respect their need for time with their mother.  This is important.
• Respect their relationship with their father.  There is another man in their life.
• Enjoy and appreciate the good times.  They are building blocks for your family.

Connecting with Your Stepchildren

Your new relationships take hard work and lots of creativity. But the effort you give now pays off later. Here are some tips for connecting with your stepchildren:

Under 5 years old

• help look after the children, while respecting their relationship with their original parent

• play together and let them lead the play

• be kind, positive, and patient as they are adjusting to the new relationship they have with you

• support good routines throughout the day

School-aged children (6-11 years old)

• do activities together

• don’t expect children to see you as a parent figure right away

• give the children time to warm up to you

• respect the child’s relationship with the original parent

Older children (12+ years old)

• don’t make too many demands on them too soon

• driving them places can be a good, low pressure way to be together

• be a friend before you try to be a parent

• understand and forgive the anger and resentment they may feel towards you

• be patient – stay away from lectures and anger

And check out this radio ad.  A young boy talking to Mike about being his dad.

Fatherhood: Its the Best Job on the Planet (. . .  you can do it!)

For our sons

Last night I spent a half an hour with my 2.5yr old son tying a rope around his waist  because he wanted to wear his doll in a baby carrier just like we do with his baby sister (expect we don’t use rope). Watching him care and comfort his doll, as I’ve seen him do with his teddy bear as well, made me think about how we raise our sons.

In the past 40-50 years it seems the way we raise our daughters as a society has changed a lot. There are still huge issues with our emphasis on princesses and ponies and focusing on our girls’ physical beauty rather than their inner qualities and characteristics. But we also tend to see a lot more encouragement for girls to enter into spaces that were previously considered the territory of boys. Whether its soccer, basketball, math or science it seems far more acceptable for girls to explore these interests than it was as recently as a generation or two ago.

During that same time period the change in the way we parent boys doesn’t seem to have shifted in the same way. We have accepted that in order to raise healthy girls we need to give them confidence, strength, knowledge and freedom to explore their world. What we haven’t done is given boys permission or support to develop into nurturing, caring, empathetic and emotionally literate men.

As I watch my son’s face light up every time his baby sister wakes up or reaches a new developmental milestone I can’t help but feel that he has the capacity to communicate his feelings, provide love and support for others and be tender, gentle and kind. Why is it so difficult to affirm these attributes in boys?

Perhaps as dads its hard to encourage these things in our boys because they weren’t encouraged in us; because we lack the capacity to do things easily and comfortably. In order to raise a generation of compassionate, positive men we need to start with ourselves and question the way we model these values and qualities. If not for ourselves then for our sons.

The F-Word

I wasn’t a punk rocker in my youth but this new movie about famous punk musicians and their transition into fatherhood has me intrigued.

The transition from the person we were before we became dads and the person we are after seems to be a strong theme in this film judging from the trailer. And that’s something I can definitely relate to. And its something I hear from a lot of dads. How do we maintain the aspects of our identities that we cherish when we become involved fathers? For some of us the tension is about our careers or our hobbies, our friends or our art.

At the end of the day its a really personal choice and I’m curious to see how these guys have chosen to balance their families and their passion for music and rebellion. Check out the trailer here.

Looking for Some Real Dads . . .

Research is important.  It gives us a small glimpse into the motivations and mechanisms of life.  Recent years there has been an incredible rise in the amount of research studies that focus on dads.  Here is a new one – and what I like about it is its focus on asking Canadian dads what they think about fathering young ones.  I’d encourage you to take the survey.  And forward this on to any dads you know who could participate.

Check it out:

I am a Psychology PhD candidate from the University of Regina in the midst of data collection for my doctoral research.  I am looking for some support in recruiting research participants for my online study which aims to better understand fathers’ parenting beliefs.

This study requires the participation of Canadian fathers with at least one child aged 2-6 to complete a questionnaire I have developed along with a series of short questionnaires created by other researchers. For this study, I am specifically looking for fathers who are living with their child’s mother. Whenever possible, I am also seeking spouses’ perspectives as well. Because the survey is online, interested participants need only to click a link and they will be taken directly to the research site.
Responding to the surveys typically takes approximately 20 minutes.

All of the data gathered during this study will be confidential. While the results of the research will be shared with other people and published in scientific reports, no uniquely identifying information about participants is being collected. All questionnaires are anonymously completed.
Individual responses will only be used in aggregate with the responses of all participants.

The information collected as part of this study will be securely stored.
While the data collection is done online, it will be protected using 128 bit SSL security protocols (the same used by banking institutions). The data is only accessible through a user name and password. Access to this information will be limited to the primary researchers.

If you have any questions you may contact me directly at sevignph@uregina.ca or my research supervisor Dr. Lynn Loutzenhiser atLynn.Loutzenhiser@uregina.ca. This project has been approved by the Research Ethics Board, University of Regina.

To participate now, please click on the following link and you will be taken directly to the beginning of the survey. If you are not taken there directly, please copy and paste the link into the address bar of your browser.

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/QBGZWVL

Please consider sending this link to anyone you think may be interested in participating in this study.

Thank you in advance for your support,

Phillip R. Sevigny, M.A.
Child and Family Research Group
University of Regina
Email: sevignph@uregina.ca

Let me introduce myself

In the next few months you’ll find an expanding roster of contributors to this blog. We hope that we’ll have a diverse collection of folks writing about their knowledge, experience and interest in fatherhood and dads issues.

I’m a relatively new dad with 2 kids under the age of 2 and a half yet it often feels like I’ve always been a dad. The life I left behind is hard to remember.

As a way of introducing myself to readers I thought I would share a video I made for a work project last year that talks a bit about my approach to parenting and life in general. I look forward to exploring my own journey with you, not as an expert but as a learner.